First I woke up at around 06:30 am. The night before I felt inspired to keep the OBE practise up, after reading William Buhlman´s “Adventures beyond the body”. I did some affirmations, and in a state close to hypnogogic, I tried to focus on a single well known place from my childhood, but my mind went everywhere all at once it seemed. I let it happen since it felt like a natural flow. I´ve felt this before, a rush of long forgotten details like the content of kitchen drawers, cupboards and closets. Remembering items vividly. When it happens I´m blown away by the speed with which it is happening. At times it´s almost a parallell rather than a serial event. And my eyes are sometimes moving fast like in a REM state. Feels like a download. It´s amazing how things can pop up although I haven´t thought of them at all, at least not in my conscious awareness.
Finally, I drifted away.
Where am I?
This morning I had a false awakening and some thoughts about this phenomena. It began with me thinking I was awake but in a fruitful drowsy state, trying to get deeper into the vibrational state and exploring the secrets of exiting my body, as this still eludes me. So I keep investigating the sensations and getting to know what´s going on.
My window was slightly opened for fresh air, and my eyes covered to keep light out. I heard a sound outside and wanted to close the window without waking up too much. I carefully kept my eyes shut while I was about to close it. Then I got the sensations of not knowing where I was, and I decided to take a look. I was looking out of the cabin windows of a large ferry and right outside the window, a big truck turning left on the green deck. I was lucid, but not fully and the weirdness of the unexpected situation did not trigger full lucidty either. I thought “what if I one day lose track of realities?”.
Without fear I pondered how it might be. Not startled at all by this insight that I didn´t know where I was. A sign of independence? Maturing into my place in the bigger picture? Maybe. I´m at a point where dreaming, lucid dreams, OBE’s are as real and valid as anything in the “real” world. Experientially. I think I´d greet any situation the same way, with an investigative mind trying to extract learning wherever I am. This is a little on the theoretical side, as I don´t feel I drift between states that easily. Far from it. But there´s an obvious inclination towards it. It hit me that it would be like being a consciousness surfer, and I thought that maybe this is how it is for some who have embraced the fact that consciousness is what we are, and the experiential realities presented to us are (but) data streams. Is this Tom Campbell’s, Teal Swan’s and Casey Claar’s (and others) world? A life in which these normal boundaries are blurred and/or easily transgressed at will? As easy as moving from one room to another? It seems to me that there´s nothing strange about it at all, just a bigger reality to get used to. Bring it on (when I´m ready)!
The false awakening faded into ordinary dream state, and after a while I knew I was lying in my bed again.
A noteworthy fact; that I was in a very steady, calm, and relaxed state through it, and it still lingers, about 3-4 hours later. And while writing this I listened to music, and in a song a few lines of the lyrics (in swedish) goes like “Where am I. No one knows. The only thing feeling real, is the sense of unreality”.