Dream Log: New York Attic (The Real Cost Of Compositing)

Too much of an office, but some of the feel is there.

I’m not really into the habit of journaling my dreams as I have chosen to rely on what my memory can carry without external tools and helpers. That in itself is an important thing for me. Occasionally I post something brief on Facebook – or here. But I try to do the most heavy work internally,  imprinting it into memory while it’s fresh et c.

Recently I had a rare multi-episode dream in which Robert Monroe was the star. I tried to interview him, but it never quite worked out, but this was just a short scene, which is more common for me.

The setting was in a female Facebook friend’s (Jennifer, a fellow lucid dreamer) New York attic apartment or studio with rustic stone walls, a bit like in the picture. Her husband was also there, and another woman, Laura, from the OBE community. We were sitting at a wooden table looking at and talking about the paper work that would ensure my moving to the US (!). Jennifer across the table and Laura to my right, by the window.

However, there are no such big plans at the moment, at least not on the surface although I in general think a lot of changing life in a big way like that.

Some of the papers related to work (media and consciousness) in some way. And, there were three or four A4 paper taped together into a single long piece of paper. On it, text on the topic “The real cost of compositing”.

Dream Log: New York Attic (The Real Cost Of Compositing)

Waking up from the backwards

Just some poor dream recall today but a thought, or an underlying sense that is growing. As a silver lining to anything in the 3D Earth existence that (seems to) bring one to one’s knees. Even in the midst of that, a sense of lightness seeping in. It’s increasingly present even during such moments. And I feel gratitude.

It amazes me to no end how getting into this lucid dreaming / astral projection / Out-Of-Body thingie – or process – really, actually and literally feels like – IS like – waking up from a dream. For me, a slow process. Increasingly richer. I have time.

How dense and dreamy the 3D reality can be in comparison. It is especially  during moments when one feel bogged down by heaviness of one sort or another, one is really sleeping and dreaming here.

God is having a great dream of separation to add to its knowing.

Looking back. How fundamentally backwards I had everything before, at least at a surface level – how most people get life. We are seriously lacking in education! As I don’t believe in death anymore, other than as the process of shedding the physical vehicle and as a transition into other areas of consciousness, I don’t feel robbed of my life or bitter that such a large part of it has been “lost” in states of negativity and confusion.

Waking up is awesome!

This 3D Earth reality IS less real – without putting it in a hierarchical order or making judgements of one level being better or worse than any other. Because anywhere you go – there you are. And you basically go “to” where you already are.

When this is seen, you stop projecting your issues onto others and your way of expressing responsibility is maturing. As a result, you set others free in the process. Breaking the illusions of guilt and blame, seeing that they are completely hollow.

There is nothing there…

Waking up to who you really are starts by making what you take as your dreams a priority. This will heighten your awareness both in dreams and during the day. Or, stay asleep a little while longer, before the spark finds you.

Waking up from the backwards

A summary of the Western disease

I’ve found several keys to inner calm, but often it is kind of dead without a true tribe…

Lissa is a person I’ve listened to before and I really like her, and here she manages to almost pinpoint all the stuff I’ve been processing since 2011. Charles Eisenstein for example. His book Sacred Economics is a spiritual healing experience despite what the words “economics” in the title might suggest.

A summary of the Western disease

Losing identification


A very energetic night. Strobing or flickering lights as soon as I closed my eyes. Again I wonder why? Where does it come from? Who turns on/off the light? Checked moon phase and it’s third quarter. It doesn’t reveal much – if anything at all.

Although I had been meditating quite heavily (but I’ve done it many times without specific results) it’s as if a receptiveness is turned on or phased into. In periods I can’t even begin to penetrate the topics or subjects I easily swim in during other periods. It’s as if there are more than one awareness inhabiting a physical body with different levels of access. Not like taking turns with clear and sharp edges to how it feels but still. It’s strange that sometimes certain information, or a certain way of processing reality, is ultra clear and at other times I don’t even know what it is. Like a struggle between the urge to stay normal and the pressure to evolve. For now these two sides are at odds with each other and not at all i sync. I consider this strong polarized tension to be a defining trait with me.

Anyway, all day I had been quite deep into existential issues, actively questioning the most fundamental identifications in an ongoing effort to make space for a broader multidimensional awareness, developing it and keeping it alive and present at all times. Before bedtime I stumbled on a piece of text that was just about that. In other words the stage was set so perhaps I shouldn’t be so surprised after all but rather just enjoy what might be a small victory along the way toward my goal.

The dream

Fluctuating between an unconscious dreamy quality and a vivid dream, I was somewhere in the Gothenburg harbor. In the water… That was – in the dream – shallow enough in some places to walk around in. Dreaminess kicked in and I could therefore not retrieve my jacket that had all what we consider essential to our everyday lives, such as wallet, keys and phone. Identifications that perhaps define us much more than we recognize. So losing all these felt rather serious, and a nervousness and a feeling of having lost it all came over me. Finally it was retrieved with all possessions still in place.

In retrospect it is abundantly clear that it’s about identifications in general that prevents us from seeing a larger picture. Keeping us grounded in that fear of losing the items that anchors us to the life we experience most of the time. The 3D sensory realm.

Along the way I also met a friend whom I’ve cut ties with. He pops up from time to time and it’s always about reconciliation but I’m not ready for that, nor willing. I know the same issues will keep coming back and I don’t have the energy for it.


In life I’ve always had a “weak” sense of identity. A wallflower in a sense. Or an observer. It has troubled me greatly since this is the last thing that is premiered in our culture and so it has brought me much personal pain and confusion along the way. That is luckily changing and has been doing so over the course of the last few years. When I don’t respond to others egos it is the place from where to see things much clearer but man, has it generated a strong pattern of feeling insecure and unworthy. It will still take a long time (it seems) to recover despite knowing more what has happened and what is in play. There’s not a lot around to support me. In fact there is more working against it, than for the healing to take place. No one else to see it, know it. Least of all understand it and actively support it. I miss it so much…

No wonder I prefer being alone over feeling conflicted and weakened over and over again in settings  with individuals who has no clue what is going on. That’s what you get for having 100% counter cultural goals in life. But if I had to choose again, I’d rather walk alone. But I’d sure love to be around my own kind too…

On identification, and developing what my dream really was headed toward, I really love this talk by Harvard Professor, Ram Dass aka Richard Alpert:

Losing identification

The moon, new meditation track – and sync

Moon phases

Yes, last full moon yet again confirmed that there is some connection between lucidity and moon phases.

New meditation track: Inner Cathedrals

A church organ based sound excursion this time, rocking you slowly and safely on waves between the majestic and the sublime. It contains a binaural beat component with a beat frequency at 3.84 hz – said to be ideal for the purpose of astral travel/OOBE. It had me very close to the border which is why I was excited to share it in the first place.

Note: I’m going to upload another version of it with higher volume. I was too cautious and I noticed the effect is best when played at a higher volume, when the bass really starts resonating with your own inner vibes. So stay tuned for an update soon.

Publishing it came with a synchronicity. A Facebook friend was reading this, just as I had made the track public to the world (he’s “accusing” me the playful way friends can do 🙂 ).

Aha, here you are! Well, not only you ruin my stillness sessions but also my leisure times devoted to reading. The case was as follows:

I started reading the book by Arthur Findlay of which I talked yesterday on my wall. To what I wrote there, it’s worth adding what is placed on the second page, namely

“The press of Great Britain, without exception, gave the above book a reception never before accorded a book on this subject. It was certainly the most widely reviewed book of the Winter Book Season of 1931-1932.”

After which there is a list of 75 newspapers and magazines with their corresponding reviews (one day I’ll scan it all.)

Now, going to what matters, here are some excerpts of the Foreword to the 29th impression:

“This book has now been before the public for just over three years…….I have nothing to withdraw from what I have written in this book……..I have much to add, and this is contained in the companion volumes which have followed, namely, The Book of Truth and The Unfolding Universe…………..These three books form a Trilogy on Spiritualism which embraces the whole subject from every angle, and they are intended to lay the foundation for Spiritualism becoming accepted as the religion, the science, and the philosophy of mankind.

Professor Ernesto Bolzano, in his preface to the Italian Edition of this book, remarks that I have made no reference to what he terms and he quotes the following extract from an article by Mrs. Hewat McKenzie, the well-known psychical researcher, published in Light in 1931, following the publication of this book:

“Mr. Findlay often mentions ‘Whitey,’ the personal Indian Guide of the medium, and his valuable work in shepherding the spirits who came to make themselves known. I wonder if he saw, as I and others often did, the coming and going of ‘Whitey’ as he took or relinquished control of his medium.

He manifested his presence by a bluish clear light which could be seen approaching the medium as he sat playing the organ before he fell into trance.

It approached from his left, and came into view two or three feet away from him. As it reached him it was lost to sight. A grunt from Sloan would follow; ‘Whitey’ had taken possession of his medium, who stopped playing on the instrument, rose from the organ and took his place in the circle, being controlled by sitters on either side…..””



The artwork for the track is also mine, and the ghostly crowd is based on a photo of formations in the sand I took walking on the Askim beach in Gothenburg:


The pipe organ is an image from the site pixabay.com.

That’s all for now. Thank’s for reading and please share the track wide and far if you like it!

The moon, new meditation track – and sync

Full moon correlations

Full Moon of January 12 2017. Image by Karin Miller.

Just a short note to self.

I’m starting to recognize a pattern. The ease of meditation, the stability of it and the effortless lucid dreaming. The sensations of the so called Kundalini energy, ringing ears, the vibes and feeling of being externally drawn towards a trance state – is either starting to correlate more with the moon cycle, or I’m starting to notice it better.

  • January 11 – It’s starting to build up.
  • January 12 – Full moon, and all of the symptoms above are in place.
  • January 13 – Back to almost nothing.

Notice that I don’t see it as causation, only a correlation. I feel it’s more like with different synchronicities; it’s akin to being rewarded for noticing in a sense. In a virtual reality such as ours, ANYTHING can happen/be seen or felt on this “screen” of consciousness, and I tend to think/experience more and more that you get what you are able to integrate positively. It is interesting to say the least and I’m grateful for quite successfully having entered the realm of the weirdos. What else is there? Materialism? Right… 😉

Full moon correlations