Dream Log: New York Attic (The Real Cost Of Compositing)

attic
Too much of an office, but some of the feel is there.

I’m not really into the habit of journaling my dreams as I have chosen to rely on what my memory can carry without external tools and helpers. That in itself is an important thing for me. Occasionally I post something brief on Facebook – or here. But I try to do the most heavy work internally,  imprinting it into memory while it’s fresh et c.

Recently I had a rare multi-episode dream in which Robert Monroe was the star. I tried to interview him, but it never quite worked out, but this was just a short scene, which is more common for me.

The setting was in a female Facebook friend’s (Jennifer, a fellow lucid dreamer) New York attic apartment or studio with rustic stone walls, a bit like in the picture. Her husband was also there, and another woman, Laura, from the OBE community. We were sitting at a wooden table looking at and talking about the paper work that would ensure my moving to the US (!). Jennifer across the table and Laura to my right, by the window.

However, there are no such big plans at the moment, at least not on the surface although I in general think a lot of changing life in a big way like that.

Some of the papers related to work (media and consciousness) in some way. And, there were three or four A4 paper taped together into a single long piece of paper. On it, text on the topic “The real cost of compositing”.

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Dream Log: New York Attic (The Real Cost Of Compositing)

Dream about honesty

Honesty sets you free. Random Google search meme.
Honesty sets you free. Random Google search meme.

I saw an opening in a some kind of locker, in dark and redish wood material. Like a vertical panel was missing on the side or the back of it. There were lots of things lying around in there, and the impression was that there had been a break in. There was money in the form of a swedish 500 kronor bill (about 50 euro), and I took it. Shortly thereafter, the owner of the things in the locker showed up, and was looking for the money, asking me about it. I lied and said I didn´t know anything or had seen it. I was trying to hide the money in my pocket. I remember the sense of him wanting to see what was in my pocket.

(an interesting detail is that the communication is remembered as telepathic rather than spoken by words)

I think I wanted to put the money back, but couldn´t do it without being exposed, so I tried to hide it further, under a matress (actually in the dream weirdness, I was lying on a matress right beside the locker). I don´t remember more than this, but the lesson of it lingers.

Motivations?

My superficial motivation might be about the fact that I´ve been very low on money for many years now, but I´ve never felt like stealing. And twice when I´ve found money on the ground, I´ve given it to beggars rather than keeping it for myself. And on another occasion when a bit larger sum (about 400 euros) unexpectedly came to me, I gave it away as a gift to my son at his 10th birthday (I´ll always remember the look on his face).

More likely, the dream was just about a random “opportunity” and what I´d do at just that moment. As to the lack of money, that sense is receding – at the same time as I do want more money in order to be able to show Leo more of the world, for travels and such. Travels and creative tools and enviroment for music, image and video making.

There it is, Universe. you heard me! 🙂

Another thing connected to money in my awareness now, is that I´m reading “Sacred Economics” by Charles Eisenstein. I recommend it warmly, as it is a very spiritually rewarding book.

Right action – Honesty

In the dream scene, what I should have done immediately, was to admit to taking the money, say I´m sorry, and give it back without trying to hide the money or the fact that I took it. The lying (or any form of dishonesty) creates internal disorder and tensions that you will have to sort out sooner or later anyway. Trying to get away with something, or hiding your intentions (even from yourself) is ultimately hurting you even if it renders satisfaction on the surface.

Arjunas-Chariot
A famous picture in the Bhagavad-Gita shows the senses being compared to the five horses.

As I live my life I increasingly have a view of the material world as consisting of metaphors meant for training (even our bodies/avatars), concealing the real game of consciousness evolution. Always reaching for more clarity, more awareness. What I feel, beneath the surface impressions of a small dream scene (a lesson in my view) is much more important. “Real” life is no different. Pay attention to the real feedback so that you can wake up.

The life journey is about a cleansing process, raising awaeness and growing up. A journey of opening up your heart, becoming love.

Dream about honesty

Fear test – Dream of snakes

Snake, from pixabay.com
Snake, from pixabay.com

I´m in a period with very little connection to my inner life in regards to dreams etc. Hardly any dream recall at all. So, this is just to keep the journaling up because I remembered a moment of lying down, and I knew poisonous snakes crawled on the floor. Not very many, but larger snakes.

Snakes have been involved before, to a degree that it´s becoming a theme.

In the dream, I was lying down somewhere, like a bench so it didn´t feel like a bed, but I had my bed sheet over me. I wanted to move, but couldn´t/didn´t. Not the sleep paralysis thing, more due to caution considering the snakes or an inability to act, which I can relate to from daily life too sometimes.

Then I felt a snake crawling over me (the weight and movement felt real), close to my head, and I got scared. Not panicking, but enough to wake me up. I remember the intention to stabilise the fear at a low level, and remain calm. I also very briefly knew it was a dream. Maybe because the snake theme and situation didn´t really make sense. My son Leo was there, and it was like a game in some way. But, I woke up just at that moment. I consider it a fear test, one that I didn´t make 100% – this time.

It´s midsummer today, and not much celebration is going on at my place (due to the change in course in the recent years among other things, I could use a new pack to celebrate with), and the weather is cold and on the verge of rainfall.

During my days, I keep quite steadily on my path of slow recovery, replacing fears with insights and questioning situations, people and myself in as positive ways as possible.

Oh, and I just discovered Robert Moss at http://www.mossdreams.com/, whom i really resonate with. I like his unifying and simple way of looking at our travel in consciousness (here or “there”) as Active Dreaming.

Fear test – Dream of snakes

Fear processing

Last nights’ (series of) dreams are just out of reach for me. What I do know is that it was repeatedly about fear. At one time I woke up from hitting the couch I use for OBE practises (and where I had fallen asleep). I can feel the nervous and constricted sensation in my stomach as I recall waking up. Exposed. Abandoned perhaps. I wish I knew what it was, and I repeat to myself and demand clarity and absolute presence while working with fears. I hope these affirmations help. I do not accept fears taking up such a big space within me.

Tomorrow I´m doing a one day retreat with Vipassana meditation, in close vicinity to the area I lived in where I feel my personal issues deepened significantly in my early twenties. It is interesting to be drawn there for the purpose of healing. It´s only a few hundreds of meters away.

I don´t believe in coincidence.

It´s an early morning and I´l be up att 05:30. Time to sleep and dream…

Fear processing

Sleep paralysis and walking lamp

This lamp walked about the windowsill. 3D image by Jan Sandahl.
This five legged lamp walked about the windowsill. 3D image by Jan Sandahl. Texture was not feet though, I only grabbed a texture rather close to my impression. I wonder how many designs are created in dreamtime, generally?

This morning while hovering on the verge of sleep, I drifted into sleep paralysis and hypnogogic imagery again. I had my laptop on, a couple of meters away from me and the fan triggered impressions of someone vacuuming. I soon understood I was in sleep paralysis, because it was difficult to move and I had no vision. Nevertheless I got slight sensation of movement and forced myself to sit up, still in the dark. I also asked “who is vacuuming?” a bit annoyed (now, that´s deep self inquiry! 😉 ). I got no response and it confirmed even more that it was happening in my mind.

A simple experiential insight: trying to break sleep paralysis by trying to wake up by moving triggers OBE. It´s exactly what techniques are designed to achieve. Relax, get into a “mind awake body asleep” state, get the vibrations going and eventually attempt to move out in one way or another.

A simple, experiential insight: trying to break the sleep paralysis by trying to wake up by moving triggers OBE. It´s obvious but it came as a direct insight which is different than intellectually knowing something. I´ve even done it before but it didn´t hit me like it did just now. It´s exactly what techniques are designed to achieve. Relax, get into a “mind awake body asleep” state, get the vibrations going and eventually attempt to move out in one way or another.

Somehow, I was not trying to have an OBE, only to break sleep paralysis. Or perhaps a little of both, but at a certain point I was not set on the goal of having an OBE.

I demanded vision and it got a little better. I tried focusing on the hands again, but could not see my hands at all this time. I continued to mentally stand up from the sofa. It was still dark. The sensation of movement and having stood up wasn´t all that convincing either. I demanded vision once again, and it got brigther.

I was now beside a sofa in a large room that looked perfect for a yoga class or something similar. In the corner of my eye, to my right, I actually saw someone with a vacuum cleaner but I didn´t give it more attention than that. I aimed for the windows and intended go get closer to them and fly out right through them. Then there was a sense of someone telling me not to fly away. It distracted me and I looked around but saw noone. Instead, in another window, than the one I was aiming for, I saw a small lamp with five or six legs walking on the windowsill partly behind a curtain. The room, windowsill, curtain and lamp was all bathing in warm daylight, and the texture of the lamp and curtain matched with a bright colorful pattern.

Now the vision cleared fully and lucidity spiked and it was all too real to be unreal I thought. Despite knowing I was dreaming I had second thoughts and doubted that I was asleep – but the walking lamp gave it away and I had to laugh out loud. At the same time as lucidity increaed my navigation capability started failing and I started to drift around as if there was no gravity. I tumbled around without control and the last thing I saw before it faded away was ornaments in the ceiling. Still I was in a good mood from the funny lamp and I didn´t mind.

Perhaps the voice (or sense of) telling me not to fly away was an invitation to stay and work on basics?

Sleep paralysis and walking lamp

Stuck in a door

corridor-lucid-dreaming
Image by Jan Sandahl. 3D and photoshop. Derived from a lucid dream (without the water), where I got stuck in the door.

Disclaimer: This post is mainly for cataloguing my experiences, and not here because of it´s overwhelming significance and depth. 😉

A few days ago I was in a short scene, becoming lucid from a meditative state and hypnogogic imagery I was in a corridor, feeling the unstable quality of the lucidity and realism. While trying to highten stability I was hovering toward the exit (doors are often portals to completely different experiences in lucid dreams and OBE’s) and upon trying to sail through the door, I got stuck in the middle of it. I felt its texture while beginning to pass through it and it also had a special sound to it that is hard to describe.

The image started out as an effort to illustrate this dream, but I found it dull and added water and text to it instead, and went for a more appetizing graphical quality.

So there you go. All you purple orb travellers and busy with high council meetings and what not… You´ve got nothing on me! 😉

Stuck in a door

Animal dream

paw
Image by: Unknown.

A brief semi lucid dream/moment. I knew I was dreaming but lucidity was low and fuzzy.

I sat on a bed, and on my right side there was an animal’s forepaw.  I held it, squeezed it, and I saw it was a strong tiger’s paw. It reacted to my rather firm grip with a roar but wasn´t threatening me. Now I saw a dog with dark reddish brown fur to my left. I know almost nothing of dogs, so I won´t try to describe it, but it was partly covered by a piece of clothing, looking out from behind it, with the expression and nervousness of a shy girl. Now the dog’s paw was in my hand.

That´s all.

Animal dream